The following are excellent notes on marriage by Len Weyers.
Marriage (this is powerful): “Kindness, Intimacy and Trust” by Len Weyers
Text: Ruth 1
The book of Ruth is an inspiring love story which demonstrates God’s providential care. The setting of the story plays of during a harvest time in the harvest fields. During the New Testament times the book of Ruth was included on a scroll with four other books that were publicly read during the feast of tabernacles.
The feast of the tabernacles speaks of a remembrance of God’s provision in the wilderness but also look forward to the return of the Messiah. Here all the nations (including the gentiles) were invited to worship God according to Deuteronomy 31. Zachariah foretold of a time when all nations will ascend to Jerusalem each year to worship the King of kings (Zech 14:16) because this festival marks the return of Jesus’s millennial Kingdom that is to come.
Let’s return to Genesis 1
The marriage is instituted by God Himself between one man and one woman for one purpose only, and that is to represent Gods character meaning in function, purpose and in thought we should act in the same manner as He would.
The scripture here is found in Genesis 1:26 “Let us make man in our image and let them (plural) have dominion. Verse 28 speaks of “be fruitful and multiply ……” in other words we should bring forth the character of who God is in terms of actions and of His thinking “1 Cor 2:16”
Let’s look at 3 aspects in the marriage from the book of Ruth
Kindness: Ruth 1 verse 8 – The Lord deal kindly with you as you dealt with the dead and with me
*kindness according to Galatians 5:22 is one of the fruit of the Holy Spirit
*In kindness there is grace for one another
*kindness tolerates shortcomings, marriage should be a safe place to make mistakes.
*kindness should also be expressed through words (Matt 12:34 for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks)
Never mix bad words with bad moods, you will have opportunities to change you bad moods but you will never have the opportunity to replace bad words (1 Peter3:10 says whoever desires to love life and see good days let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit)
Intimacy: (Ruth 1:14 and Orpah kissed her mother in law but Ruth clung to her)
*This represents to types of relationships
Self The other one (Phil 2:3)
What i can get what I can give (Phil 2:3)
Focus on the perishable focus on the imperishable
Value system is based on the value system is based on the Spiritual
Material (the natural)
*Intimacy creates the platform to be vulnerable with one another. Be honest and transparent with regards to your strengths and weaknesses otherwise we create false perceptions that lead to false presumptions.
Trust: ( Ruth 1:16-17)
*Trust depends on love, a healthy trust is preceded by wealthy love. The greater the love the stronger the trust.
*Lying down your lives for one another means you are going to have to trust one another with it.
*Jesus with His disciples on the boat in Mark 4:37 – 40 as an example of explaining this.
Tips for a marriage:
*Unity is not conformity. When 2 become 1 it means that the one person commits himself or herself to the other ones diversity through allowing that person to grow and to live in his or her own identity. Therefore don’t blow out your own individual candle after lighting the unity candle.
*There isn’t such a thing as a perfect marriage only a fulfilled marriage and that is something that you both will grow into.
*No matter the difference on matters you are never once enemy. You have 2 mutual enemies, the self and Satan.
*Apart from being lovers you remain once closest friends, never neglect your friendship.
*Allow fun to be a vital part of your marriage because apart from hard work that will make your marriage stronger, having fun through playing with one another is a simple thing to do that will come very naturally without striving or hard work.
* Remember when disputes and or differences arise on matters, it is never a sign of a war, it’s an opportunity to forge unity whereby you can grow closer to one another.